geek to live: how to fix mom and dad's computer

geek to live: how to fix mom and dad's computer lifehacker tip your editors: tips@lifehacker.com editor: gina trapani | email senior editor: adam pash | email | aim weekend editor: wendy boswell | email contributor: tamar weinberg | email buy our new book! lifehacker, 88 tech tricks to turbocharge your day lifehacker « || next » feature geek to live: how to fix mom and dad's computer by gina trapani you're headed home next week to a turkey feast with all the trimmings - and mom and dad's computer. you know what's going to happen. i keep getting these pop ups, he'll say. it's just been so slow lately, she'll say. i keep seeing this flashing picture of a roulette wheel that just won't go away. can you take a look at it? fear not, my friend. the annual family computer fixing event is upon us, and you are the emcee. before you nobly trudge into helpdesk hell, here's a little checklist of ways to get your parents' creaky pc back in tip-top shape - at least, until next year. kill the spyware do yourself a favor: before you get on that plane or train or bus, burn a cd with the following programs and take it with you. ad-aware and its most updated definitions spybot search & destroy and its latest definitions spyware blaster more are listed in lifehacker's spyware cleaners section, but this trio is a good start. when you arrive at your parents' computer, shut it down. unplug the connection to the internet. start it up, and hit f8 during boot, then choose safe mode. pop in your cd, install each program, and run a full system scan. this'll take awhile, so go eat some turkey and come back. remove any suspicious or critical objects each cleaner finds. then, reconnect the internet cable and reboot normally. update windows using internet explorer, visit windowsupdate.microsoft.com. let it scan the machine and install any updates it lists (critical ones for sure - recommended at your discretion.) this process can take a long time, depending on the speed and age of the machine, so go fetch a few extra helpings of stuffing. when you come back, reboot as needed. yes, it may be up to a dozen times. when given the option, turn on automatic updates. while you're there, download microsoft antispyware, install and run it for another addition to your spyware cleaner arsenal. switch the system's default web browser to firefox download firefox. install it, and import all of ie's preferences and bookmarks. (see previous lifehacker feature importing bookmarks into firefox for more info on how.) when firefox asks if it should be the default web browser, click "yes." finally, remove the blue e from your parents' desktop. on newer versions of windows (like xp), you can simple drag and drop the blue e into the recycle bin. in windows 98 (yeah you know some of your parents still use it), in control panel choose internet options. on the advanced tab, uncheck "show internet explorer on the desktop." to help your parents grok the transition from the blue e to the orange fox, rename firefox's desktop shortcut to something more obvious, like "internet - mozilla firefox." uninstall unneeded programs in the control panel, open up the add or remove programs applet. get mom or dad to sit down next to you and review the list of programs. anything they don't recognize or don't use - delete it. it should go without saying that any software whose title contains the words "bargain," "tracker," "snoop" or "monitor" should get removed immediately, and their authors basted for long painful hours over a very hot fire. then, do install the software your parents will need - like the flash plugin for firefox, quicktime updates, picasa for photos and maybe the latest version of itunes. if you're feeling really ambitious get them set up with a gmail account or using thunderbird for e-mail. (i know, i know. but a girl can dream!) trim down the startup program list from the start menu, choose run, type msconfig, then hit enter. in the startup tab, run through and uncheck anything your parents don't need loading into memory automatically on boot. a bunch of these programs will be unidentifiable (though check out their file path for a hint), so when it doubt, keep it checked. if you're feeling really ambitious, use a utility like startup inspector to figure out what can get tossed and what can stay. install a firewall if your parents' computer is connected directly to the internet - especially if they just upgraded to broadband this year - be sure to get a firewall running on the machine. why? you ask. well, a portscan will give you the answer to that question. this helpful online port scan application (java applet) will show you how many ports on the 'rents' pc are open to denial of service attacks or worse. without a router acting as a firewall, a computer connected directly to a cable modem is exposed to the wilds of the internet which runs rampant with infected pcs just waiting to spread their viruses and keylog your parents' credit card numbers. the free zonealarm does just fine as a software firewall; alternatively, simply enable microsoft's built-in firewall (in control panel, windows firewall). scan and defragment the hard drive run the built-in windows scandisk and defragmenter on the computer's hard drive to fix any errors and optimize disk access. before you begin, shut down all applications which write to the disk. disconnect the pc from the internet, shut down zonealarm, disable task scheduler and turn off the windows screensaver. then, open "my computer" and right-click on the hard drive. in the "tools" tab, press "check now" to run scandisk. when that's done, press "defragment now" to defrag. tip: start each of these processes before you go to bed and let them run all night. for slower machines with larger hard drives, these can take a long time. add a hard drive or pci card if your dad's complaining about how he ran out of disk space after having the computer for a year or mom wants a tv tuner so she can record desperate housewives each week, then go ahead and install a new hard drive or add a pci card inside the machine. then demand the good offspring award, because after all that, you'll deserve it. and that's that, you're done! once again you've proved yourself the geek hero of the family. now go help yourself to some leftovers. note: this article is an adaptation of an essay i wrote on my personal site last december entitled "how to fix mom's computer," which is a little dated now. the computer i was fixing then was a windows 98 machine - but the comments are chock full of helpful suggestions, many of which still apply. have you any good stories from the front lines of familial tech support? any additional suggestions on cleaning up your parents' computer? do tell in the comments, or send us a note to tips at lifehacker.com. gina trapani is the editor of lifehacker. her special feature geek to live appears every wednesday and friday on lifehacker.geek to live will not appear next week, november 23rd and november 25th, but will return well-rested and plump as ever right after the tryptophan coma has worn off. happy thanksgiving! 12:30 pm on fri nov 18 2005 by gina trapani 12,644 views read more:  disable and enable the screensaver in one click  rip audio from a dvd to mp3 with free dvd mp3 ripper  build a hackintosh mac for under $800  kill runaway processes from the task bar with task killer  avoid overloading your electrical outlets share digg facebook email more: feature geek to live holidays spyware cleaners top windows subscribe by zack at 11/18/05 12:48 pm just a note, msconfig is only available in win98 (95?) and xp. it is not available in windows 2000. by cypherbit at 11/18/05 01:05 pm very true, but it easily be copied over from xp and be used in 2000. not that it's even worth that, i much prefer http://www.sysinternals.com/utilities/autoruns.html by mmr at 11/18/05 01:29 pm god... its so true. by mike smeen at 11/18/05 01:44 pm check out hitman pro. it basically automatically downloads all the major free spyware cleaners, updates their definition files, optimizes their settings, and scans the whole machine. it's got its own built in heuristic analysis and protection as well. i fix tons of computers for friends and family, and i just keep it on my thumbdrive and run it and get a cup of coffee while it does its magic. the site is in another language, but just click the download button. i live by it (tried submitting it to gina & co for a tip but it never got posted). by boomer359 at 11/18/05 01:50 pm this ends up happening everytime i go home. i always end up getting grief for my efforts, though, cause it turns out they actually use some of those stupid spyware programs like weatherbug and such. maybe i'll just lie to them this year and tell them i fixed the damn thing. by trevor at 11/18/05 02:07 pm thanks gina! lorraine and i both guffawed out loud at this one! to be sure, we're flying to her aunt's house in ca next week, so i called. auntie doesn't have a 'puter! i'm off the hook. by funkknight at 11/18/05 02:34 pm i also use processexplorer http://www.sysinternals.com/utilities/processexplorer.html... from sysinternals (yeah, the guy that found sony's rootkit). processexplorer allows me to see what dll's are being loaded with each app. if i see something that i don't recognize, i google the file name. i've found and removed some pretty annoying spyware using proccessexplorer + google. tcpview by sysinternals can also be pretty handy if you suspect there is something wrong but can't pinpoint it. it will show you every process that has a network port open. by alan at 11/18/05 02:34 pm my list... 1. bring a mac with you. 2. burn all of mom & dad's files from the pc to a cd. 3. put all of mom & dad's files on the mac. 4. give them the mac. 5. burn the pc. happy holidays! by jimmy m at 11/18/05 02:36 pm i live about 3 miles from my parents. this is a weekly, if not daily occurance. thanks gina! by m_s at 11/18/05 02:58 pm hey mike, thanks a ton for the tip on hitman pro - this is great! i'm trying to earn a bit of a living by fixing mums' computers (plural mum, plural computer), and this is going to make the first step much easier! by m_s at 11/18/05 03:00 pm oh, something i should have mentioned before - check out autopatcher, too, which brings windows up to date from one easy file: www.autopatcher.com by brad at 11/18/05 03:27 pm you left off "make a backup of important data." i take every holiday as an opportunity to burn some cd backups of my folks' machines and take them offsite - just in case. by mike tuttle at 11/18/05 03:30 pm the dslreports port scan java app is getting hit pretty hard right now and is down. my norton actually blocked it as a trojan horse. something i should know that i don't? by madderhatter at 11/18/05 09:26 pm one of the first things i did when i gave my dad a pc (running xp pro) was set it up to allow remote connections. i added myself to the local group with a hex'd username and loooooooong password (including extended ascii characters) and punched a hole in his router. he works nights and will send an e-mail with his current ip address if he's having problems with anything. so when i get home in the evening and find that e-mail i just remote in and fix whatever's wrong and generally clean-up and check things out. next day, he's happy. granted, this won't work if there's any hardware failure or the machine won't boot but when it's working it works well. very fast too over a fast connection(s). for the more paranoid, there's always the request remote assistance option. (click start > help and support > you should see it towards the top right) the invite is password protected, requires the receiving end's approval before taking over their desktop, and can be set to expire after however many days/hours. if they mess it up and send it to never-neverland it can also be revoked. it can save a lot of phone-time and road trips, and works with both xp home and pro. by zenbug at 11/21/05 12:15 pm i'd also suggest ccleaner to help with their pc's speed and space. once installed, it couldn't be easier to use... stroke mom & dad's inner geek-ego by showing them they can help maintain their computer's efficiency themselves: "okay pop -- every couple of weeks, right-click the recycle bin icon and select 'run ccleaner'...and pass the gravy." by maceyr at 11/24/05 04:07 pm in addition to the programs mentioned, i also have winpatrol ( www.winpatrol.com ) installed so that it lets me know when a website is trying to change my home page to something else (hijack). spybot has a great feature where it monitors when programs change things in the registry so that you know. for those who feel confident about going into the registry, most things that may not show up in the start menu, you can find in the registry. you'd have to run regedit.exe (search for it on your computer). then go to: my computer\hkey_local_machine\software\microsoft\windows\currentversion\run most of the programs that run when windows starts up (ie. spyware and other valid stuff) should show up in that run folder or directory. while you're there, look in the runonce, run-, and other run stuffs as well. make sure you back up your registry first before you delete anything. and check on whatever it is first before you decide to delete anything because you may not be able to boot the computer if you accidentally deleted something that must be loaded at windows start up to function. sometimes, certain programs won't allow you to delete it because it's currently running or loaded in windows. you can try to restart windows but in safe mode and then see if you can delete it. and if even that doesn't work, you may have to unlock the program so that you can delete it. get unlocker ( http://ccollomb.free.fr/unlocker/ ) and then try to unlock the program and see if you can delete it. most times, it works. again, make sure you know what you're deleting first before doing it. by allkindsoftime at 11/25/05 10:03 am i've given that hitmanpro2 a shot, and frankly it looks like its creating more spyware than its killing. by geek 101 at 11/25/05 10:46 am also its a great opertunity to try and convince your parants to get a new system and give them msn and gmail acounts as well as ipods(and podcasts)when you upgrade buy a mac!!! by iain cheyne at 11/26/05 03:52 am i am strongly considering installing linux on my parent's pc. it's really simple with a live-cd. mepis or ubuntu are free and very good. by rkapoor at 11/28/05 02:24 pm setup mom and dad with a restricted account and setup a separate, password protected account with administrative privileges that is only used for installing new software. i've done this for my parents for a few years now and have limited many of the opportunities my parents have for breaking their system. more importantly, i've limited the damage their friends who have enough knowledge of xp to be dangerous can do. by miranda at 11/29/05 01:41 am i think rkapoor has a good point. however, there's some advice in the article and the comments that just won't fly with some parents, and that is significantly changing any software they're used to using. my experience with a surprise install of firefox has not been positive (my mom has tended to blame any slowdowns caused by bg downloads by windows update or virus scan software on firefox, despite how many times i have pointed out how irrational it is to do so. though firefox lives on her computer, she still only uses ie). i would not even presume to install linux without a long conversation and a lot of evangelism. the same parents who need their kids to fix their computers are parents who are generally interested in the familiar; furthermore, they are parents who are likely to either be given bootleg windows software by friends, or buy $5 cd-roms of games at walmart or best buy, or have a very specific casual-game package that they want to buy. i talked my mom into a mac several years ago, and while she liked the mac, it was a disaster in practical terms... she was constantly annoyed that she couldn't use the same exact programs that all her relatives used. linux may be awesome, but still may not work for your parents. (my fiance's parents are so freaked out about internet security that almost nobody in the family can actually reach them, because they've allowed someone at their isp to install an insanely aggressive anti-spam program, they refuse to do any shopping online despite the fact that they live on a farm, etc. they pretty much use the computer as it came out of box and are suspicious of any changes.) you have to know your audience. so, if your parents are anything like my mom, do not pull them out of their comfort zones in software and os terms just because you think it would be "good for them." tread very carefully. ask if they'd like to try a new browser, and tell them how to fix the changes; do not make changes of this nature that they can't reverse. it consistently flummoxes me that my mom hates firefox so much - because i love it - but she just won't use it. i have the same suspicions about picasa... many parents won't be into it (or flickr or other photo-related tools), for that matter. ask whether they have any system for photo archiving. with regard to a hack printed a month or so ago, probably the best thing you can install on a non-mac computer (after the anti-spyware utilities, of course) would be a copy of a "stickies" program where you can tell your parents what you've done and why, and give them tips on using any programs you've added... starting with stickies, of course. by papifrank at 11/30/05 11:35 am if they have dsl or better, set them up with remote desktop as mentioned in a previous post. you will be able to connect to their computer remotely and fix any problems without having to wait until next thanksgiving. setup a user account for yourself with a strong password. and setup the remote desktop with your username. in order to connect to their computer, you would need to know their ip address. this is hard if they have a dynamic ip. but you can overcome this obstacle very easily by vising http://www.no-ip.com. this service is free and links any ip address to a friendly name such as lifehacker.no-ip.org. for dynamic ip addresses, download the no-ip.com dynamic dns update client to their computer. http://www.no-ip.com/downloads.php "when configured correctly, the client will check your ip address at a given time interval checking to see if your ip has changed. if your ip address has changed it will notify our dns servers and update the ip corresponding to your no-ip/no-ip+ hostname." when they call to ask for your help, you can easily connect to yourparentscomputer.no-ip.org and fix their problems from the comfort of your own studio, apartment, or geek-ified mansion. don't hesitate to email me if you need help with this. by geeksaresexy at 01/02/06 10:49 pm to add up to the article, you might consider checking this one out: http://geeksaresexy.blogspot.com/2005/12/microsoft-windows... not better or worse, only different :) by dkong at 08/07/07 02:04 pm ok, well, this comment is kinda of late for such an old article, but i just found this article in the archives and felt like commenting. all in all, my family shares 2 computers in the house. the one my sister (14 years old) uses the most is the one most prone to spyware. my mom and dad are actually fairly savvy in keeping the computer clean. my mom's been using the same computer for 4-5 years and there's only been one instance of spyware on it, and it got fixed rather quickly. but beyond that...i found that a crafy way to introduce firefox is to download an ie skin for firefox and set firefox up to be very similar to ie. my dad didn't seem to care when i did that, despite not being a big firefox fan. though, after a recent spyware attack we had on the laptop a few days ago due to my sister using ie on malicious sites, he agrees that it's worth using. you can also get really sneaky and change the firefox shortcut's icon to the blue e and change the name to internet explorer. then there's an extension somewhere that lets you rename the title (on the blue bar at the top of the screen) to whatever you want....try ie :). it's funny how you can make firefox look scarily like ie. as for other methods. for disk defragmenting, i prefer auslogics disk defrag. for cleaning out drives and such, ccleaner. for antispyware, spybot search and destroy. trying a system restore can also be a big help if they know when a certain problem started. you say: login with your username and password below. new user? here's what to do. username: password: forgot your username or password? archives about advertising legal help consumerist deadspin defamer fleshbot gawker gizmodo gridskipper idolator jalopnik jezebel kotaku lifehacker valleywag wonkette

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