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i guess the cutest thing ever
november 8th, 2007 | posted in notebook
is bloggers learning about their bodies. you guys this is what happens when a person touches me in person. this is how i act when particular beverages go into me through my mouth. certain things i did last night caused me to feel ways x and y this morning. (i will provide more updates later.)
internet-based personalities = corporeal disconnection. or: cultural ceremony, and rites of passage in a post-religious world.
on the other hand, look: there’s something to be said about the purity of emotion without hindsight. i am feeling something original. the way that i am experiencing this is that it is the first time it is happening to anyone, ever. this, like this.
i don’t know. the other night it felt like the world was swallowing me whole. there was no one online so i went outside to walk and get away. leaves on the sidewalks, a cloud-halo moon. houses with blue glows coming from two different windows. how long have i lived in this neighborhood? but i still eventually got lost. everything looks the same but there’s nothing, anywhere.
you can only go so far. the wind draws itself tight around your skin, and at night the crickets sound like cell phones, but whatever.
news in finger quotes
november 5th, 2007 | posted in news
i redid the about page, and added a new page helpfully entitled favorites.
about the about page: you’d think at some point it would have gotten easier, this website being so old and all, for me to figure out what the hell to put there. i wouldn’t even have one if it wasn’t the first page i always visit at a new site. nothing quite brings home the pointlessness of all this ( “writing” / “having a website” / “participating in the internet” ) like chewing over one’s about page late at night.
the idea behind the favorites page is that someone wanders in to the website and is beset with panic, suddenly faced with all this quality. rest, gentle reader, no one triages alone on the internet. between you and me the stories listed there are half traditionally heavily-traffik’d and half stuff i just like, so there. fuck you, it’s my website, or didn’t you read the about page?
maxine
november 5th, 2007 | posted in lounge
i need to dig around on my old computer and find the guitar tab for this one. i listen to it now—o donald fagan, master of the impossibly errant minor 9—and wonder how i ever managed to figure out the chords. it must have taken hours, continually skipping back five seconds, back five seconds, to try the chord change one more time. to be young and an idiot with my time once more.
download “maxine”, originally popularized and written by donald fagen.
it’s all gone now, i couldn’t play this song with a gun to my head. i still really like it though, even if the idea of a woman being named maxine is so 70s. i mean could you ever? there’s also a dean martin song named “susan” that makes me roll my eyes. sorry, women with unattractive names. i just don’t buy it.
so: [person]
november 5th, 2007 | posted in notebook
he wasn’t bad. we liked him. mostly we only knew him from online, but still. we liked what he wrote. not all of it. sometimes you could tell he dashed something off, or wasn’t really thinking about what he was writing. a few of his ideas were like, uh, ok? but some of what he wrote was definitely pretty good. different from what other people were doing. plus he wrote under a lot of different names, so who knows. maybe we’ll still keep turning up new things, and like them or not like them. who knows if anyone will ever see it all.
he was sad a lot, about how things were online. like things were never quite as good as he’d imagined they could be, or felt they should be. he was occasionally a little hot-headed. if you upset him, or did something he interpreted as mean, he would never forgive you. never. but that only happened a few times. in general he was your friend forever, and even if you did things differently than he would have, or that he didn’t agree with, he would support you in any way he could. he was helpful. a lot of people asked him for advice, about different things.
and he stayed connected to just about everyone. he might drop out of your life for a few months or years, but then later he’d be back, right there with you, and it turned out that even if you hadn’t heard from him, he had still been following along with your life the whole time. sometimes one of us would stop reading his website for a while. i don’t know. no real reason. but then later something would make you think about him and you’d start reading it again. and he could tell when one of us did that, but he never said anything about it, never made you feel bad. he was just welcoming. he was glad for whatever attention you could give, but totally understanding about how things happen sometimes.
only a few of us ever met him in real life. no one who met him said anything bad about him. they said he was fun, it was very comfortable being around him, not awkward at all, like you sometimes expect it to be. he’d remember random little things about you and want to talk about them. he was always asking questions about you. engaged. actively interested. and really funny. energetic, kind of spazzy. sometimes you sort of wished he would answer more of your questions. so i don’t know. i don’t know how well we knew him, really. but that’s how it always is, right?
but yeah. we liked him.
the things we did last summer
november 3rd, 2007 | posted in elsewhere
i feel my friendships more acutely these days. i read things online my friends have written and i think: i am going to miss these people when they’re gone. gone away from the internet or gone dead. i’m clinging to things that are important to me while it feels like the internet is reaching critical velocity, starting to break apart. oh links to new york times articles. oh rcopiws. oh music that arrived before its time and will have been forgotten by the end of the month. i want context and thoughtfulness and the creative act. i want to surround myself with people doing things i wish i had done. but it’s difficult, it’s getting more and more difficult. just because it’s free doesn’t mean it doesn’t cost anything. i will pay money for it, just show me that someone, somewhere, is still breathing life.
things magazine - “text is struggling to keep up. only dense, layered, information-rich text cuts it in the online world, preferably broken up with images and other information, which might explain why the blog form, in particular the visual blog, is currently so successful.” (so i don’t totally agree 100%, but still.)
six sentences: affirmation - not this story in particular, but what it represents, what it reminded me of. my loves for a) stories about offices, b) stories about temp jobs, and c) stories written on post-it notes. remember when sarah brown was a receptionist? there’s almost nothing i like more than hearing about what people like or don’t like about their jobs. that means something to me, in a way that a picture of a man with an apple computer up his ass does not.
six sentences: of a february kansas cemetary - yes i’m linking to two stories from 6s. show me another site that’s regularly posting decent short fiction and i’ll link to that too. (you can’t.)
someone please have sex with perez hilton « the cold inclusive - “forcing inmates to have sex with bloggers is now expressly forbidden, thank you president kottke.” i mean come on. that is it, right there.
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